and sometimes why

I think I just wanted a place to say something

sometimes I think I’m pretty and

sometimes I think I’m funny and

sometimes I think I’m tired.

  1. You are stronger than you realize.
  2. You are more cruel than you realize.
  3. The smallest words will break your heart.
  4. You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
  5. People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
  6. You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
  7. You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
  8. You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
  9. Never stop yourself from texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9:30 a.m., tell them again.
  10. Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
  11. You will be scared of all kinds of things— of spiders and clowns and eating alone— but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
  12. Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes, someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
  13. You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners, but still fill a bed.
  14. Always be friends with broken people. They know how to survive.
  15. You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
  16. You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
  17. You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
  18. Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
  19. People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
  20. You will be okay.
  21. You will be okay.

—   21 things my father never told me  (via lovebug)

(Source: ohthativy, via parfoisquelquefoisjamais)

“When you feel perpetually unmotivated, you start questioning your existence in an unhealthy way; everything becomes a pseudo intellectual question you have no interest in responding whatsoever. This whole process becomes your very skin and it does not merely affect you; it actually defines you. So, you see yourself as a shadowy figure unworthy of developing interest, unworthy of wondering about the world - profoundly unworthy in every sense and deeply absent in your very presence.”

—   Ingmar Bergman (via mirroir)

(Source: stxxz, via awildwest)

“This whole course is an April fools’ day joke.”

—   Matt Pearson, Advanced Topics in Syntax, April 1, 2014.  (via shitreedprofessorssay)

The dream has faded; you’re not the one.

seraphica:

The tiny velvet clay sculptures of Evgeny Hontor [x]

(via zaataronpita)

“Don’t touch me! Don’t question me! Don’t speak to me! Stay with me!”

—   Estragon, Waiting for Godot

One. The first time I saw you and her in a picture, I wanted to take my entire arm, shove it inside of the computer and snatch the happiness right off of your face.

Two. If I ever see you in the street, I’m probably going to punch you in the throat.

Three. I apologize in advance. And I know that it makes no sense to have this much anger toward a man that I have never met face to face, but my definition of love is being robbed in an alley 8 times in a row and hoping there’s something about today that makes all of this different. There is nothing logical about cutting off the most important parts of yourself, and then putting them inside hands that shake, that tremble, that crack like a hatian sidewalk.

Four. There is nothing rational about love. Your love stutters when it gets nervous. Your love trips over its own shoelaces. Love is clumsy, and my heart refuses to wear a helmet.

Five. Cupid is fucking irresponsible, and I’m tired of him using me for target practice.

Six. I was told that time would heal all wounds. But what exactly do you do on days when it feels like the hands on your clock have arthritis?

Seven. She always wore her heart on her sleeve. So tell me, why the hell do you look so familiar?

Eight. I think I’ve seen you somewhere in her smile. Like I’ve heard your voice in her laughter. Like I’ve smelled your cologne on her thighs. I bet if we dusted her heart for fingerprints, we would only find yours.

Nine. I have this envelope. It’s full of all the butterflies I felt the first time she relaxed the velcro on her lips and smiled in my direction. I think most of them are still alive. I guess these belong to you, too.

—   Rudy Francisco | Scars | To the New Boyfriend (via connotativewords)

(via parfoisquelquefoisjamais)

Marc Nixon

ghostheart:

"It doesn’t happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand."

(Source: elisemerand, via 15thdimensionspacecat)

I will not hide my blemishes from you.

We were staring at our ceilings
Thinking of what we’d give
To have one more day of sun

cuntented:

“I existed long before you knew me, I’ve always been someone.”

cuntented:

I existed long before you knew me, I’ve always been someone.

white water

it’s been a long time now
since no time has passed
since you were under water.

it was so recently that
it was only yesterday when
my chest did that thing where my heart feels like it’s being squeezed in the best and the worst way at the same time.
i imagine that’s how it felt to be under water.

you came up for air and
everything was clear and
why did i teach you how to swim if you were only wanted to float.

it’s been only a second
since years were erased and
my chest did that thing where my heart feels like it’s being squeezed but only in the worst way.
this is what it feels like to be under water but
everything is not clear.